Wow, do you ever feel like when you try harder the issues just get worse?
I never knew how challenging parenting would be when we took on this job.
I love my kids like crazy, but some times they just drive me crazy!
I am so thankful for finding the website by Scott Turesky and Joanne Miller. The author of the book Good and Angry.
I am finally getting the answers and help I've been seeking.
Understanding my kids heart and dealing with attitudes and bad behavior from a heart perspective.
It just clicks with me.
We can focus on the outward reactions and discipline for the bad reaction, or we can figure out the belief
that they are believing that needs to change to have behavior changes.
If we don't care about what is going on inside our childs head and heart we will not be able to help them
make the kind of changes that are life changing.
I've been dealing with Alabama this week. Just not wanting to do the dishes, or put her laundry away. Simple things that she knows how to do. She has really been resisting my instructions.
So taking from Scott and Joanne's book, this is what I'm trying to do:
1: Come when called.
2: Child responds to your request "yes, mom", "okay Mom"
3: Send them to do the "job" and report back when finished
4: I stay close by to make sure she is on task, then check her work when she is finished.
5: Release her by saying something like "good work, your free to go"
So, we need to work on the yes mom part, and ignoring my instructions.
Sometimes I get busy in what I 'm doing that I don't realize that she hasn't done what I asked her to do.
I am hoping that this will help "retrain" both of us in the instruction routine and avoid emotionally charged interactions.
Key point: Anger is not the problem, it shows that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. I am seeing that if I deal with the problem early then I don't get as angry.
We are starting our first week of Hero Training Camp! So far so good, I am praying for some major changings in our attitudes and behaviors in our family!
www.biblicalparenting.org
1 comment:
Can't wait to hear about it!
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